After years of New Year's Resolutions, here's what I've learned.
Today is February 3. If you’re like most Americans, you made some kind of resolutions or goals this past New Year. And, if you’re like most Americans, you just recently decided (probably unintentionally) that you’d stop holding yourself accountable to those goals.
I get it. We've all done it. Even if you’re in the incredibly small percentage of people that maintain their goals through the year, you probably make subtle changes and accommodations along the way. Here’s the thing: that’s okay. Largely, year-long goals aren’t actually that effective or helpful. More recently, researchers and lifestyle enthusiasts are finding it easier, and therefore more effective, to create 12 month-long goals. It’s human nature to want to create and stick to the loftiest goal we can to create the radical change in our lives that we desire. It’s often the least likely method to actually bring about change in your life, though. We need to take it slow and break it into smaller pieces. Rather than say, “lose 60 pounds in 2020”, your goal could be, “lose 5 pounds in January.” Forget about February. And December. That doesn’t matter. January matters. Lose your five pounds. After January, you can measure your success. You’re provided with smaller goals and more frequent opportunities to both measure and reward your success.
I didn’t start making resolutions until 2013. That’s when it really rested heavily on me that I wanted to make some improvements and goals. It was 2014 that I actually kept those goals into May. But, alas, it didn’t carry beyond that. My goals, year after year, usually revolve around fitness and reading. “Exercise more, read this many books, get to this weight, only eat this food” and more lofty ideas. I can say I successfully (and, embarrassingly, given the context), for the first time, completed by reading goal in 2019. I never completed any other goal.
So why do I continue to make goals every New Year? Every month? Because I want to hold myself accountable, even if only to myself. Sure, I fail often. And in the past, I would let that failure lie on me for an absurd amount of time. Now, I’m learning to be more okay with the failure. It makes me more likely to appreciate and celebrate the success, too.
So after 8 years of resolution-making, here are my top 5 lessons:
Don’t go it alone: Sure, I love the idea of self-accountability. But at the end of the day, it’s verifiably not as effective as the accountability maintained with a partner.
Enable your environment: Don’t set yourself up for failure. Do what you need to to make yourself successful and more likely to follow through on goals. Sleep in your workout clothes. Leave your keys by the door. Get an alarm app that requires you to solve a math problem or take a certain number of steps before it’ll turn off. I sometimes purposefully leave my money and debit card at home so I won’t eat out during my lunch hour. Do what you have to.
Ask for help: Whether it’s your accountability partner, a doctor/therapist or a friend, ask for help when you have a question or need assistance. You don’t know everything.
Break down your goals: We all know the SMART goal acronym, yeah? (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, Timely) I’ve found for the acronym to matter, the timeline must matter. The best way to make them timely and attainable is to break them down into smaller pieces.
Be gentle with yourself: There’s a significant chance you’re going to fail a few times. That’s okay. Stand back up and move forward.